Rose had a really bad staph infection this week… she had a fever for a couple of days that we were monitoring and then a hard tissue began forming on her upper leg in the back.  By day 2, Mike and I were both convinced we had to take her to the doctor.  As I suspected, it needed to be drained.  The doctor, two nurses, and I held her down, while Dr. Fikkert used her scalpel to cut Rose open in the shape of a V and drain out all of the infected area.  It was awful, and I’ve never seen anything like it in my life!!!  Rose was screaming hysterically (of course) but I held it together until all the girls were in bed last night, and then I lost it.  No one should have to do that to their baby and no baby should have to endure that pain.  I know there are worse things that children endure, but it’s like I always say, just because you don’t have cancer doesn’t mean your strep throat can’t still hurt!  It’s all relative, but suffering is suffering, no matter if it’s short-term/long-term, the worst pain ever or something that’s just uncomfortable…

That’s one thing I literally hate about our human condition… we live in a broken state in constant need of healing, in one form or another.  And even if you believe in God and have a relationship with him, there are still no guarantees of physical safety or protection in this life (unless you take scripture out of context because experience proves otherwise… bad things happen to good people on a daily basis, and we all have a death sentence, no matter our beliefs).  My hope is that at the end of the suffering that it will all work out and God will take care of us and restore us back to health the way I believe he originally intended.  That will be so beautiful!

This is coming from a mom who lives in chronic pain and heart-ache, faced with a terrible disease of exclusion (fibromyalgia) that doctors know little about.  So, as I’ve said before, this is my happy place and I rarely “go there” on the blog, but it’s still important for you to know that no one is perfect and we are all in this together.  I’m blessed beyond measure with a loving family but cursed to be present with them through a veil of pain.  I’m always using mind over matter tactics… and I fight hard against my flesh!  I repeat several times a day, “My love for them is stronger than my pain!” and not a day goes by the tears don’t come, but I suck it up and do the best I can because they love me, and I love them with all that I am!  We all experience pain if different ways, and if you are in pain today, you are not alone and my prayers are with you, whether it be physical or emotional… life can be so difficult at times and I’m so sorry for your hurt. 

Hopefully the pictures of our happy kids can lighten your load as they do mine!  On that note,  Rose is doing much better today.  We are bathing her and giving her meds three times a day.  She is being very clingy to me (which I love) and still feels a little weak, but we are hopeful that did the trick, and we can nurse her back to health from here.  She’s such a sweetie and even said, “Thank you!” to Dr. Fikkert on her way out.  I never let the girls get suckers at the doctor, but Rose got one today, along with M&Ms after her first sitz bath!