If the best case scenario for the day is an emergency root canal, you know it’s going to be a pretty bad day.  Welcome to my world.  I NEVER “go there” on the blog, because for the most part this has always been a scrapbook.  Simple as that.  Not a journal whatsoever.  We’ll see about changing it up a bit.  It’ll just take some experimenting and throwing things out there and seeing how it feels.  I may do more, I may do less.

So for today, here’s a little peak into my reality.  I have fibromyalgia.  I have TMJ.  I’ve had two reconstructive jaw surgeries.  Overall, I’m not a very healthy person.  Some days I can’t even get out of bed because of the muscle pain.  Other days I am fine.  I live on medication to have a quality of life.  I always word it like this, “I’d rather be sick and have a lot to live for than be healthy and have a messed up life!”  And that’s the truth.  I work very hard at never complaining or even talking about it.  That’s why in 5 years there has never been a mention on my blog, until now. 

We’re not perfect.  I’m not trying to portray my life as perfect on here.  But focusing on the good things helps me stay positive and distracted from the pain.  So I do it for all of us.  For the girls to look back and enjoy the fun things, and for me to escape how I feel and count my blessings.

On to today.  My teeth don’t touch anywhere when I bite down.  My jaw is always shifting and changing.  A lot of this has to do with my surgeries and how they negatively affected my bite.  So one by one, my teeth are abscessing from the trauma.  I had a fractured tooth today.  The endodontist didn’t know if a root canal would even work.  I am still up against an extraction and not out of the woods yet.  It is very concerning, but I’m not worried.  I know who holds tomorrow, and He was here with me all day in BIG ways.  Maybe I’ll build up some courage to tell you about that someday.  For now, I’ll hold it in my heart as a comfort that God is…