I think the girls will appreciate reading what life is really like when they are older, looking back on their blog, if they ever stumble across this post, so here goes.  I have a condition called fibromyalgia.  I’ve had it for the past 10 years.  The main symptoms are muscle aches/twitching and chronic fatigue.  Having this illness in no way defines me but rather helps me to prioritize what is important and let everything else go.  I’m forced to live life in this healthy place (ironic huh?); I don’t have the energy to focus on things that don’t matter.

With that being said, my discipline/watch-care over our children looks a little differently.  While it is imperative that we remain 100% consistent, we also give our children more freedoms than most get.  The ways I have compensated have been subconscious until I recently realized things really are different around here.

One blessing and curse that I have related to the illness is hypersensitive senses, all five included.  I see very well (yay!), but I catch details I would rather not see (I found a cracked tile in our bathroom last night), I feel things magnified (a pat on the back feels like someone is hitting me), I smell things that most don’t (I know when someone is smoking in a near-by car when driving down the street), I’m a really picky eater because I taste unusual things I think go under the radar for most people (I can’t eat chicken or turkey that is older than two days, I get sick, it’s a smell that goes into my brain and trips the system, lol), and my hearing… oh my hearing.  It’s a blessing and a curse.  I hear EVERYTHING, good things and bad things.  I know when Noelle wakes up from her nap because I hear her feet touch the floor upstairs (good thing), I hear Anna Kate when she wakes up and begins chattering in her bed when I am the furthest away from her room as possible in the house (good thing), but I hear crickets, dogs, cars, and everything, so much so that we listen to “noise” so that I can sleep at night.

The kids are super safe in our house, because instead of chasing them around, I can always hear what they are doing.  When friends are over, they are like, “Do you need to find Anna Kate?”  And I say, “Oh she’s in my bedroom playing with the pulls on my dresser,” because I can hear her.  It’s weird, but cool.

Another compensation is memorizing my kids’ movements and knowing what they can and can’t do better than anyone else.  I know how far it would take for Noelle to reach the street going at her top speed in our front yard if she were to sprint.  If Anna Kate were to trip, I know how far away she would land.  This comes in handy.  I don’t have the energy to run in circles with them, but I know their limits and jump into action when I am needed.

I don’t let our kids eat messy.  I just don’t have the strength to deal with the clean-up, expending unnecessary energy.  So, for instance, Anna Kate eats table foods (veggies, cheerios, fruits) with her pincer grasp, but I don’t let her spoon-fed herself with such things like yogurt, applesauce, soups, etc.  Instead, I let her color after supper to work on her fine motor skills.  Her counterparts, I’m sure, eat yogurt with a spoon but that’s one thing I’m positive she will learn in time.  Noelle’s got it down with no mess (she even makes her own oatmeal in the morning).  It’s all good!  I just didn’t let her try before she gained more coordination to reduce clean-up.

One toy at a time.  We only play with one toy at a time.  When Noelle is finished with a puzzle, she puts it up and gets something else to play with.  We don’t leave things out.  This helps during the days at home.  Kids can do chores.  Noelle is always helping me unload dishes, throw things away, clear the table, and get diapers/wipes.  These are things she can do and gets rewarded for doing them.  We have a sticker chart system and give coins when she completes her chores.  She is saving up for the Barbie Mermaid Movie right now.  Off subject, she just taught Anna Kate how to say, “Mermaid.”  It’s really cute.

One thing a day.  If we have a morning play date with friends, we don’t do a night activity.  We rest.  If we have dinner plans, we rest during the day and don’t make day plans.  This rule especially comes in handy over the weekends so we are not running ourselves ragged, which we are good at doing anyway because we have a really hard time saying no (which we have gotten out of the habit of doing because the summer is so stinkin’ fun).  Also, one day out, one day in.  I will take the girls to the library or somewhere fun one day and the next day, we will have a pj day, do laundry, dishes, and clean at home.  These guidelines are flexible, but they make high energy activities do-able.

Although it takes a village to rear a child and is welcomed here (the more eyes watching our kids, the better), it is my job and utmost joy to care for, love, and protect my kids.  I don’t take ownership of them, but feel they are a gift under my watch-care.  God has entrusted Mike and me to know these little buddies inside and out and care for them to the best of our abilities.  And although my abilities are different than the average person, we still have the freedom to be out and about and enjoy our days because we are continually learning new ways to compensate.  And God has been faithful through all of this.  He has been with us to leave little remnants throughout the day, to not only get us through, but let us know our creator is here, walking this journey with us.

I say all of this because I want you to know it’s not all a bed of roses around here.  I joke that we all have our laundry list of hardships.  It’s true, life is hard, but nothing springs forth without diligence and hard work, so I welcome the challenge.  We work really hard to stay focused on living intentionally happy and emotionally healthy lives.  I think in this way we are blessed by my illness.  We can either be victims or conquerors.  That choice is easy for me, but still, it is a choice.  I see so many hurting choose to dwell in the pain.  It’s so important to let it out when it hurts and then as soon as you can, move on to the things that give you life and energy.  I’ve never mentioned this on the blog and rarely talk about it because I don’t want, in any way, to give it power or focus.  But if it helps you to know that we struggle too, and then overcome, then here it is. 

And where is Mike in this whole deal?  Helping all of us more than is humanly possible.  Yes, he is amazing!  He understands what I deal with more than anyone because he’s walked the journey with me.  He’s cried with me in my hospital beds and seen me after jaw surgeries not even look like a human, way before we were married.  He knows me, loves me, respects me, hurts with me, laughs with me, cries with me, celebrates with me, and pretty much everything else in between.  So, if you come over for supper and see Mike cooking, know that it is an overflowing of love for me and for you!  And sometimes he whistles while he works.  🙂